My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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