i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
