I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
