Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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