Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
