that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
