So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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