Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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