Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
