you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize