I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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