they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
