It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
