i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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