i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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