Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
