flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
