i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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