whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
