just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
