I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I could fuck to npr.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
