If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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