Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
