why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
