he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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