I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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