new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
How external is "for external use only"?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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