um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
