I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
