Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well I just put wine in my tea
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
