i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
