Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
