When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
