Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
