Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
