i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
