I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
