hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
