Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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