Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
