Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
