Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
