addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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