I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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