okay pat passed out under dana's car
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
