Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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