and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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