the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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