I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
