god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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