i permit you to call me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
