And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
