4 words: hood of his car
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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