there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
