I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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