a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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