she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
