Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
