That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
