Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
