Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
