so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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