That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
