im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
